Best Places to be a Mom
by The Inbetweener
Summary: Rose and Scorpius find themselves in a sticky situation. But behind the fear and uncertainty, Rose finds that she just might be okay. With the help of her friends and family she might find the best places to be a mom.
1. The Morning After

A/n: Hey there :D

So this story has been a long time in the making and I just love Rose/Scorpius pregnancy stories.I really hope you enjoy this. If you're a Taking Back Sunday Fan you'll notice that this story (and many of my others) are inspired by and titled after Taking Back Sunday songs and/or Lyrics. I suggest listening to TAking Back Sunday's newest, self-titled album. It's about the lead singer, his new wife, and the beautiful baby boy they've fought for. It's amazing. ;) As always I hope you enjoy the story as much as I enjoy writing it, Harry Potter and his realm of awesomeness are owned by J.K. Rowling not me, and I love your reviews!

Thanks for reading,

Bee

Chapter 1: The Morning After

Pregnancy sucks. It just does. It sucks big time. The sickness, the stress, and the worry are just too much to handle. Not to mention the fact that when you're seventeen you have to tell the parentals. That is a nightmare, but it's not half as bad as telling the father. That is absolute torture. Then again telling Scorpius might be cake considering who my parents are. War heroes, former Gryffindors, Ministry officials they are the complete epitome of perfect parents. Or so that's what everyone thinks. My mother's a control freak and my father is a complete nutcase most times. Perfection? Ha!

Anyway back to my problem: child on board. I'm freaking out here! I mean what the bloody hell should I do? I have no idea how to be a mum! What if something goes wrong? What if my parents shun me? What if Scorpius denies that the baby is his? I'll be out on the streets with nothing but the clothes on my back and a baby in my arms! I can't live like that. What kind of life is that? It's official: being Rose Weasley right now just sucks. Big time.

I have no idea what I should do now. I mean I know I have to tell my parents and Scorpius obviously, but that's easier said than done. I just need to gain control right now. I can figure this out, I know I can. I just need to calm down and start from the beginning. Scorpius and I had spontaneous sex. Spur of the moment, huge oh my gosh, this is happening now, what the hell just happened, I can't believe we just did that sex. That's a great start. Next we ignore it. We act as if nothing happened; everything is the same though it's really not. Then I'm late. No monthlies for more than two months. Red flags go up so I resort to a muggle pregnancy test. (I've never been much a fan of pink but let me tell you I have never hated pink more in my life than I did at that moment.) So it's positive. Next step: freak out. Duh!

I mean I can barely take care of myself let alone another little life inside of me! Breathe Rosie just breathe. That's right inhale and exhale. My chest heaves up and down as I try to get a grip on my heart rate. It's shooting about a hundred miles per hour right now and that can't be good for the baby. Look at me! I'm already thinking about it. It's barely even more than a ball of cells right now. I'm getting far too ahead of myself. The stick is still stuck in between my unmoving fingers as I sit here and think. My feet are going numb because my legs are scrunched up against the rim of the bathtub as I sit on the loo. My feet are really starting to hurt and my legs are numb. I should get up, but I feel like I'm glued to the spot.

I know I should get over this but my mind just can't get a grip on this whole situation. Never in my entire life have I ever imagined that I would be having Malfoy's child, ever. I simply loath him. He's insufferable and I have no idea how Al can be such good friends with him. He's so, so, so… urgh! That's the only way I can describe it. Urgh. It's like he lives his life just to annoy me. He enjoys my anger and irritation uncontrollably. And to make matters worse I find myself liking his attention even though he irks me to no end. It's confusing. One moment we were arguing fiercely in the room of requirement next he kisses me and we're passionately making love! I mean come on, how does that happen? Hold on. Rewind: did I just say making love? No I was wrong. It was sex, just sex, not love. I don't love Malfoy, that's impossible. Weasleys don't love Malfoy's and vice versa. Besides he'd probably end up breaking my heart. Nope I definitely won't love Malfoy no matter what happens.

I stand and stretch my stiff legs. I feel small all of the sudden. Like I'm just a tiny speck in the universe and this baby won't mean a thing to anyone but me. For Malfoy it'll be just a mistake, to my parent's it'll be their disappointment, to my friends it'll be their disgust, and to everyone else it'll be another fatherless child with a teenage mother. I hope it looks like me, so I don't have to answer too many questions when it gets older. I really don't need one of those, "Mum, why don't I look like you?" conversations. Of course I'm going to keep it. I won't get a abortion because of my irresponsibility. Don't get me wrong every woman has a right to choose but I just think that I need to take responsibility for my actions. Adoption is out of the question, I can't do that. I don't have the heart. I get attached too easily. I see a puppy in a store, it waves its tail, and I'm hooked.

I'm lost in my thoughts but I can feel my feet moving. I'm out in the hallway now and going down the stairs. I swallow hard and jut out my stubborn Granger chin. I look almost exactly like my mother. Her nose, mouth and ears, all from her. My chin and stubborn set jaw, definitely hers. I even yell like her, but there's no mistaking that I'm not a Weasley. I have the flaming red hair and piercing blue eyes to prove it. Luckily my hair is wild but not curly like my mothers. I'm on the landing now. Only one more flight of stairs and I'll be in the bright blue and yellow kitchen.

I reach the kitchen and watch the scene before me. My mother is at the oven putting the kettle on the burner. She's talking animatedly to my father who's sitting at the kitchen table with the Daily Prophet in his hands. They're arguing, bickering really. For once I wish they would just stop. I mean seriously, they love each other, you could just tell, but hearing them bickering back and forth non stop is tiring. It's like a surreal scene in one of those really cliché movies where we're all just one big happy family until something goes wrong and we're all torn apart. I really hope this doesn't tear my huge family apart. The test result is still clenched in my hands and I don't know how else to tell them, so I walk to the table and set the test on a napkin on the table. I'm standing, waiting patiently hoping they'll notice me soon so I can just get this over with. I know, I'm ever so blunt, so sue me.

My mother turns around and smiles at me.

"Hi Rosie," she greets me. My father looks up from the Prophet and smiles his hullo and goes back to reading. My mother is the first one to notice that something's not quite right with me. She gives me a small frown and opens her mouth to speak. She stops dead in her tracks as she looks down at the test lying in front of me. The bright pink is screaming at her wide chocolate eyes. Instantly she figures it out and her eyes narrow in anger.

"Who?" she growls at me. I've only ever heard her use that voice once before in my life, and I sincerely pray that I never hear it again. Last time she used that voice was when I had tried to get Hugo to make an unbreakable vow not to speak ever again. I was seven, Hugo was five, and Mum was more than pissed. She was livid. She's glaring at me still and I'm at a loss for words. I don't know what to say. How about "I'm sorry, Mum. It was just a quick shag between enemies and well you can't exactly hurt me right now. There's a baby in my uterus remember? Right well that's all I wanted to say. Just make sure you remember not to kill me. I'm pregnant and hurting a pregnant girl is immoral."? What the hell am I supposed to say to her?

"Who?" she yells. Her scream rattles my brain and catches the attention of my father, who's been oblivious until now.

"Hermione what are you on… about?" his eyes find the pregnancy test on the table and he stares in horror at the bright pink stick.

"Is that…?" he can't even finish the question. He knows but no one wants to say it. None of us wants to realize that I'm not perfect, that I made a huge mistake, that I'm not their innocent baby, that I'm pregnant. Dad's mouth goes into a straight line and his eyes harden. He looks grim and he's wearing his, "I'm-going-to-blow-up-and-kill-someone" face. He looks from the stick to me and back again. Suddenly he's standing and advancing towards me. I think he's going to hit me, but I throw away that notion as he walks straight passed me and out of the front door. He didn't even look at me. He's ashamed of me, he hates me, and I get the feeling that I can no longer consider myself his daughter.

I can barely see now. Tears are clouding my eyes and no matter how much I will them to stay behind my eyelids the tears roll down my cheeks like a bloody waterfall. All I'm thinking is he hates me, he hates me, he hates me. Over and over again I replay the last few minutes in my head. My dad's gone. He just walked right out of my life without a word. I know my dad's temperamental, but he could have at least stayed for me. I need him now more than ever and he just abandoned me. I'm almost on my own. I'm scared. Who's going to help me? I can't do this by myself. My mother has never taken her eyes off me though she cringed when she heard the door slam. I know she wants to do the same as my dad had and walk out on me right now, but her curiosity is killing her. She needs an explanation and she won't stop until she gets the whole story. Typical Hermione Weasley.

"I—I" my voice gets caught in my throat and I cough. I'm a bloody mess. I probably look horrible right now. Blue eyes puffy and bloodshot, hair frazzled and messy, nose running and as red as my hair.

"I'm scared mum." I confess as she stares at me. "I don't know what to do." My knees feel weak and shaky. They buckle underneath me but my mum catches me before I fall. That's my mum. Always catching me when I fall. She's my knight in shining armor. She maneuvers a chair from the table and sits down on it. I'm too big to be sitting on her lap but she pulls me towards her anyway. She cradles my head and rocks me back and forth as I cry on her shoulder. This is painful for me, emotionally and physically. My chest and eyes hurt. I feel like vomiting and my head aches considerably. On the emotional side this is too much of an overload. I'm pregnant by a boy I hate, my dad just walked out on me and I'm pouring my heart and soul full of tears out to my mum. I'm not really one to show weakness like this and it hurts my pride most of all to admit that I'm scared and in a situation that I shouldn't be in.

She's still rocking me back and forth saying over and over, "You'll be ok Rosie. You'll be ok." But it won't be ok, will it? My universe and my future is crumbling down. I know she's only trying to help, though she's really not, so I stay quiet and don't say anything as I sob harder and harder. My mother carries me up "honey-moon" style so I'm assuming she put some type of charm on me to make me lighter. I feel like I'm floating but I still have the weight of my word on my shoulders. It's a load to rival Atlas's. My mother puts me down in my soft bed. The comforter is a soft yellow and spring green. It smells like a lily which is my favorite flower and my favorite cousin. The thought of Lily makes me feel a little better. She's a level headed type of girl and she can help me, I hope. She'll know how to make me feel better.

I'm laying down with my mum. She has her arms wrapped around me and her chest is to my back. We're curled up in a ball and my breathing is erratic as I try to calm down. Mum's pulling her fingers gently through my hair but I'm too distraught to really appreciate how good it feels. My eyes feel heavy and my throat is dry.

"He hates me, mum. He hates me." I whisper to her and she holds me. I'm not sure which "he" I'm talking about: Malfoy or my dad. Mum assumes that it's dad and she's crying quite a bit too. She's scared for me. She squeezes me tighter in response and tells me, "no he doesn't sweetheart. He's just scared for you. We're both scared for you." There's doubt in her voice when she denies dad's hatred. Even she doesn't believe herself. I close my eyes and feel sleep pulling at my mind and I let it take control. It's official: being Rose Weasley sucks. Big time.


	2. Don't Wanna Talk

Chapter 2- Better off without me

The next morning I wake up because of the early august sun shining through my window. For a moment I feel good, free, and happy. And then my world comes crashing down on me once again. That one moment when I wake up and forget everything but the sun shining brightly on me is gone. I remember everything and I swallow hard to wet my dry throat. My eyes still hurt and the sun seems too bright for my mood. My mum still has her arms wrapped around me and she's snoring lightly in my ear. I feel terrible and guilty as I try to worm my way out of my mother's grasp. I'm a terrible daughter. My mum and dad don't deserve the cards I've dealt them. They're too young to be grandparents.

Sighing I get up from bed and gather some fresh, clean clothes. Walking across the hall I go into the bathroom do my business and take a shower. The hot water is a bit relaxing but undeserved. I shouldn't be able to relax. I'm a pregnant teenage girl who's going to ruin her family. Dad's already established that he'll have nothing to do with me. Mum has already proved that she'll be here for me even though she's disappointed. There's bound to be a conflict there. Hugo will ignore us all and make matters worse between my parents. I mean I know I introduced him to muggle rock and all but some people take it too far. I mean, my brother wears more eyeliner than I do and more than once have I found my jeans in his laundry basket.

What kind of guy does that? Hugo's fairly good looking. He has auburn hair and small freckles on his nose. His eyes are deep brown like mums and his build and face are like dad's. He plays Quidditch alone but he's too chicken to try out for the Ravenclaw team. Obviously he's smart or he wouldn't be a Ravenclaw. Seriously if I could I'd knock some sense into that boy. Life isn't so terrible for him. I wonder what makes that boy tick. Aside from being an annoying little brother he's not so bad. If only he would see that.

Mum bought a new shampoo for me though it's killing me to use it. It's the same shampoo that he uses. I remember that smell vividly. I remember that faithful day that we had argued. He had been close enough that I could smell his freshly washed hair. It smelled of coconuts and lilies. Come to think of it that is kind of a girly combination. But oddly enough it set me off. I don't know why I lost control that day in June. Well I guess I was pretty worked up. I was angry and passionate, holding back nothing as I yelled at him. I don't remember what had set the argument. It had been me, Lily, Albus, Hugo and Malfoy in the room of requirement relaxing after a day of hard classes. It was peaceful for a bit until Malfoy said something that pissed me off. We got into a heated fight and my family left in a hurry, not wanting to be with us if something happened. Like me hexing Malfoy to oblivion and back.

Next thing I knew I was yelling that all he wanted to do was annoy the hell out of me just for the fun of it. I was standing and he towered over me. He advanced and I stood my ground, being the stubborn wench that I am. He lower his head to my ear and for a moment I was really afraid of what he might do. He was barely a centimeter away from me and his breath blew gently against my neck.

"You have no idea what I want," he whispered in a deep husky voice. Then his lips were on my own. He was warm, his lips were soft and his touch was tender. Not something I would have expected from him. Maybe he was a horny teenage boy, maybe it was something more but all I knew was that whoever this guy was it felt good when he touched me the way he did. He slipped his hands around my waist and pulled me flush against him. I was really too lost to care about the fact that a bed had appeared in the large comfy room and that I was slowly being lowered on to it. Then he started biting my neck. It sends shivers up my spine just to remember his nips. They felt so good I couldn't help but arch into him. And well the rest was history really. I don't exactly want to remember every detail. I lost my virginity in the heat of the moment and I regret that sincerely. I don't know what got into me. But it was over now and I have to deal with the consequences.

Besides I don't like the fact that the memory has so much power over me. I mean, it happened how long ago? Six weeks! It shouldn't still make me giddy, or send anything down my spine. I bite my lip to keep myself from remembering. But it's just not working. All I can think about is his hand on my hips and his lips on my throat. It's like a plague! It hurt at first but after a bit he just made me feel good. The heat and the rhythm, the sweat and the way he made me forget who I was. Merlin this is Malfoy I'm thinking about. I should have never let him touch me the way he did. I shouldn't let him have this power over me.

I turn off the water and dry myself. Today I feel like shit, so I'll dress like shit. I put on a pair of ratty old grey sweat pants and a bright pink baggy t-shirt that says, "I support S.P.E.W." It's one of my mother's old shirt from when she created the S.P.E.W. organization in her Hogwarts days. She used to tell me stories about how everyone would laugh at her and say it would never work. Incidentally S.P.E.W. is now one of the ministry's leading creature rights movements. And who should be the leader of this organization? That's right, Mum. It's kind of funny when Mum runs into one of her old schoolmates and tells them what she's been up to. I bet they wish they had been more supportive of her now, don't they?

Support. Ha! I snort at the word. Support is a joke. One moment someone's telling you that they'll love and support you no matter what, the next they leave your life without so much as a word when they find out you did something stupid. Like say you got pregnant. Stupid bloody lying fathers. It's like every time something goes wrong Dad leaves. Mum yells at him for being the idiot that he is, he leaves. When Hugo gets seriously sick, he leaves. When he finds out his baby girl is having a baby of her own, he leaves. Why can't he just bloody well stay for once and helps us out. He's a bloody coward.

I turn away from the mirror and punch my fist through it. I hate Malfoy for being a git. I hate Dad for leaving. I hate Mum for being so understanding. But worse of all I hate myself for hating them. I hate myself for blaming everything on everyone else and blaming myself for blaming them. I hate myself because let's face it, I'm a horrible person. I'm a horrible daughter, cousin, friend, and enemy. I'm just Horrible. But I feel more terrible right now than I ever have in my life knowing that soon I'm going to be a horrible mother. I know I will be. I just know it. And it is the most painful knowledge in the world it seems. Waving my wand I fix the mirror and leave the steamy room.

I trudge down stairs to get something to eat. I feel like such a disappointment. I've done nothing but disappoint my parents, my family, my friends and myself. Mum's sitting at the table with a hot cup of tea in her shaky hands. Her eyes are red and heavy from exhaustion. She didn't get a great night's sleep and she looks as bad as I look and feel. She looks worse for wear and I feel like shit because I'm the reason she feels so bad. She really, really doesn't deserve this. She looks up at me and tries to smile but it doesn't work. All she accomplishes is a weak grimace. I sit across from her and look her in the eyes.

"Are you going to tell me who the father is? I never knew you were seeing someone Rosie." She says by way of greeting. I wince at the nickname. It makes me feel even more guilty.

"I wasn't." I tell her evasively. I know she can see right through me but I can't help trying to get out of this conversation. I really don't want to tell her. Telling her would make it too real. I can't answer her first question. It's a reality I'd much rather not make real. Yeah, as if that makes any sense.

"You're avoiding my first question," Mum states quietly. "Why?" I sigh and rub my tired eyes. Mum doesn't miss a thing. I really don't have the energy for this.

"It's a reality I'd much rather not face, Mum," I tell her honestly. It feels odd to keep secrets from my mum. I always tell her everything. And I mean everything. It's hard not to tell her. I just want to sit on her lap again and tell her every single thing that happened between me and Malfoy. I want to explain everything to her but I just can't bring myself to do it. She nods as if she understands and she probably does, but it's not right that she's not forcing veritaserum down my throat and demanding that I tell her who the father is. She's just taking everything blow by blow. I'm breaking her heart, but I'd shatter it to pieces if she knew.

Hugo walks in and stops to stare at Mum and me. He's confused but I don't care why. I'm too absorbed in my problems. Hugo doesn't even know what's happened. He was over Uncle Harry's last night with Al.

"Have you seen Dad? He's not here," He asks unknowingly. I cringe and Mum flinches.

"He didn't go over to Uncle Harry's?" Mum inquires weakly. Truth be told I don't care where he is. He's not here and that's all that matters to me. He left me, and that's what's important. He's a bloody fucking coward. I glare at Mum's tea cup and Hugo sits down, he's finally figured that something's wrong. He looks worriedly at Mum.

"Did you two fight or something, you ok Mum?" he asks gently and puts a supporting hand on hers. She shakes her head and Hugo turns to me. He's wearing a layer of glittering dark blue eyeliner and it makes his big eyes seem bigger. He's surprised as I probably look guilty. I fold my arms across the table and lay my head on them. Hugo is wearing my pants again but I tuck that away for later. Now is not the time to be worried about my pants.

"_You _fought with Dad?" he's stunned. I know what he's thinking. Bloody perfect Rose and her bloody perfect temper fought with her bloody perfect father. That's rubbish, but I can see why he's surprised. I've always been a daddy's girl and he's always been the mummy's boy but hey, things change right?

"Not really," I tell him sheepishly. We didn't fight, I just pissed him off so much that he left before we even had the chance to argue. He gives me a once over and he can tell I'm not doing so well.

"You ok, Rose?" I know he's concerned and all but that is so not the right question at the moment. Obviously I'm not alright. I look and feel like shit, Dad's gone, Mum's a wreck, Hugo's clueless and I'm stuck in the middle, the cause of all this stress. They're probably better off without me. I could just leave and never return. I could get a job in London, take care of the baby and myself. My family doesn't need this heart break. I could run. I could wait until I return to Hogwarts and after I graduate I could leave and never come back. One look at my Mum and these thoughts evaporate like water in a tea kettle. I'm not going to run. I'm a part of this family and if anything happens I'll be there for them, no matter what. I may be almost exactly like my Dad but that's the one aspect in which I don't take after him. I'm not going to leave.

"No Hugh, I'm not," I tell him the obvious. "Do I look alright to you?" I add just because well for a Ravenclaw sometimes he really doesn't have any common sense. And I'm in a nasty mood. It's not right but whatever. I don't care about his feelings at this point. He shouldn't be so dense.

"Oh," His mouth makes a small "o" and he is quiet for a moment. I'm afraid that he'll ask me what's wrong but the moment passes. It seems as if he doesn't want to know. Obviously it's big and he doesn't want to know at the moment. It's odd, I never thought him to be an ignorance is bliss type of person. He opens his mouth again and I think that I've thought too soon.

"So then you aren't going to Al's birthday party today?" I look over to Mum and her eyes are big and round like Hugo's. She forgot. So have I. I really don't want to go but it's Al. It's his birthday today and I forgot. Not to mention Lily will be there and I want to talk to her badly. I shake my head and look back at Hugo.

"Of course we're going. I wouldn't miss Al's birthday for the world," my Mum looks at me wearily and she's surprised by my answer. That gleam in her eyes tells me that she was ready for an argument. She was expecting me to say that I wouldn't go. She was ready to force me. I'm lying I know. I seriously don't want to go to Al's party but whatever. I have to go. My mother shakes her head as if to clear it and stands.

"Well," she starts awkwardly, "I guess Rose and I need to get ready right?" I look at her as she leave the room. She's been defeated. She looks terrible and she's not ready to face Uncle Harry. On top of that she's worried about Dad. Yup this particular Weasley family is better off without me. With a sigh I head up to my room to get ready. I ignore Hugo calling behind me and head up the stairs. I'm really dreading this party.


	3. Off My Chest

Chapter 3- What did you think I would say?

Six weeks

We arrive at the Potters' house around two. It's just Hugo, Mum, and I seeing as Dad has vanished. Thinking that makes me want to cry but I plaster a smile on my face and step from the fireplace. Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny spot us from across the room and head over.

"No one but them, Mum," I plead in a whisper and she understands. I asked her before we left to tell no one but Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny. Surely they would be able to feel better, at least I hope. We all go our separate ways, Mum with Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny, Hugo to search for Al, and me to search for Lily. The crowd is huge seeing as Uncle Harry is famous and everyone loves him. Lily isn't anywhere in the house so I open the sliding glass doors and head outside to the huge garden. The Potters have a swimming pool the size of a lake and a garden the size of the forbidden forest at Hogwarts. Maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration but oh well who cares. The only thing that matters is that the Potter house and grounds are huge. So looking for Lily in this crowd is harder than I originally thought.

Finally I find her in the pool. She's wearing a very revealing bathing suit and I can't help but smile at my pretty little cousin. She looks a lot like me, sometimes people mistake us for sisters. Her long red hair is tied in a knot and her skin is a golden tan. She's just a happy fifteen year old, extremely confident, smart, and fun. I'm a bit jealous but whatever. She catches sight of me and swims to the edge of the pool. I meet her near the edge and crouch down to talk. She smiles and tugs on the hem of my new blue and white sundress. The blue matches my eyes and the floral pattern is eye catching. My hair is falling around my shoulder in soft curls and I look pretty compared to how I feel inside.

"Well, Weasley, That's a very nice dress you've got there. Can I borrow it sometime?" she greets me. We're basically the same size so I laugh and shake my head at her silliness. She's always calls me Weasley as if I was the only person in my family who has the name. Then again I've always called her Potter so what does it matter? She's my little cousin, the closest thing I have to a sister, and my best friend.

"Of course you can Potter. Having a nice dip?" I ask smiling. I feel a little better just talking to Lily about nothing. I feel a little less stressed a little more relaxed. She just makes me feel better.

"Yes, it's splendid. Care to join me?" she answers and slides back into the water. I transfigure my sundress to a blue and white matching bikini, because I'm of age, there's no muggles here who don't know about magic, and just because I can. I like doing magic now simply because I can, so what? I fix my hair into a loose bun and dive in after my cousin. When I surface Lily is waiting for me and she splashes me mercilessly. We get into a water war and I can't help but laugh. Lily is a goddess. She can work wonders on a troubled teenage girl's heart. There's no thought process involved, she just makes me happy without trying and without realizing what she's doing.

"Lily, you're the best!" I surrender as she pushes a massive wave of water at me. She stops pushing the water and the water ripples gently over my face. She laughs in triumph and does a handstand in the shallow end of the pool, the show off. Suddenly my bladder feels impossibly heavy and I need to pee, badly. I'm rushing out of the pool and towards the house, calling to Lily that I'll be back. I open the doors and dive into the large crowd. Tons of my cousins are there and I wish Al a quick happy birthday as I pass him. But that's when I see him sitting next to Al. His blonde hair has grown since I last saw him. His eyes are the same stormy purplish grey color as I remember. He smirks at me and my bladder is completely forgotten. Instead my stomach grabs my attention.

It's churning, and pulsing like a rolling barrel. My quick breakfast of sausage and eggs is rolling around in my stomach madly. There's this burning feeling in the back of my throat and the taste of bile and eggs reaches my tongue. I must look really bad because he frowns and stands from his seat. The vomit is coming faster than I can control so I high tail it up to my uncle and aunt's personal bathroom. No one will disturb me up here and I can be in peace as my breakfast leaves my body. I reach the loo and before I can think of my relief, my breakfast is up my throat and out of my mouth. The smell is wretched and the feeling even worse. My hair tumbles from the loose bun and I have to concentrate on holding my hair and not making too much of a mess.

Suddenly a hand wraps around my waist and takes my hair gently from my grip. The hands are soothing and soon my stomach relaxes. I stop retching and I spit the taste from my mouth. The hand conjures a wet napkin and I take it gratefully. I wipe my mouth and try to stand. The floor is soaked and I sheepishly look down at my wet bathing suit. A hand is still on my waist and it looks familiar. I just pray that I'm wrong. His voice reaches my ears and I think I'm going to cry with my bad luck. I hate the world.

"What's up with you, Red?" he's concerned which surprises me. Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy only cares about Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, no one else.

"Don't call me, Red," I reprimand weakly. My throat is dry and he seems to notice because there's a glass of water by my side. I take it and sip at it cautiously. He might have held my hair when I vomited and he might have been nice but there's no way I'm going to trust him. I choke on the water and cough madly for what seems like ages. Again his hands are soothing as he rubs my back trying to calm me down. When the coughing subsides I sit up and curl my knees up and hold my arms around them. I start to cry and Malfoy has no idea how to handle a crying girl. Just for a few damned hours I had had fun. But again the world comes crashing down at the worst possible times. Maybe I'm being dramatic but for once I'd like to have everything go smoothly for me.

"Lily, get Lily!" I sob at him and he scrambles up from the wet floor and goes out the door. Lily's the only one who knew about Malfoy and I from the start. She walked into the Room of Requirement to grab the book she left only to find Malfoy and I scrambling to get dressed with red faces. She left before Malfoy could notice her but I saw the look on her face and silently swore to tell her everything. She got the hint and left before Malfoy knew what had happened. She'd know what to do. She always knew what to do, where as I just did whatever came to mind.

Lily arrives in a worried frenzy. She slams the bathroom door in Malfoy's face and instantly puts her arms around me. She rocks me back and forth stroking my hair and holding me. Never once does she say a word as I cry. Never once does she ask if I'm ok or tells me that everything will be ok. She knows that whatever I'm upset about is bad or I wouldn't be upset about it. When I'm done crying I feel as if I've aged considerably. My eyes feel heavy and puffy, my worries seem to multiply, I feel a hundred years older than what I should feel. I'm only seventeen, damn it!

I stay quiet in Lily's arms for a few moments when I hear Al's voice from the other side of the door.

"What's wrong? What's going on?" The question isn't being directed through the door. He's asking someone outside so I'm guessing that Malfoy is still waiting outside. Sure enough I hear Malfoy's voice clearly through the door answering Al's questions.

"I don't know," he says, "It's Rose she threw up and then started crying. I had no idea what to do so she sent me to get Lily. They're still in there."

"Right, I should get Aunt Hermione," Al told Malfoy. The minute Lily heard this she clamped her hands over my ears and let out a yell. She didn't want to give me a head ache but she didn't want to let go of me either.

"Albus Severus Potter, if you so much as speak a word to Aunt Hermione or anyone for that matter, I swear to Merlin and everything he stands for that I will hex off your boyhood piece by painful piece slowly!" She yells at him. Lily is scary when she wants to be and right now I'm grateful for it. Al mutters something offensive incoherently and he's lucky Lily can't hear him.

"Now, Rosie, are you going to tell me what's wrong or will you lie and tell me that you're ok?" Lily smiles down at me. She's trying to lighten the mood. She knows I could never lie to her. So I'm just going to spit it out. Right now. I'm just going to say it. "Lily I'm pregnant," I'm going to say. Simple as that. But it's not. I open my mouth and nothing comes out. It's not simple at all. It's not easy to say two words.

"I-" I start but my voice catches in my throat and I take this as a sign to be quiet. I wait for a few moments. I need to get my emotions in control.

"I'm pregnant," I whisper though I don't mean for it to be so quiet. Her face hardens and she knows who the father is. I've never been with anyone else. She knows that, I know that, but my biggest fear is that no one else will know that. That he won't know that.

"Does your Mum know?" she asks me gently. I nod and another sob comes along with it. Honestly I want to poke my eyeballs out so I won't cry so much.

"Dad does too. That's why he's not here. He ran out last night when I told them. Hugh doesn't know but I'm sure Mum has told Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny. They don't know who the father is though. I didn't tell them," I answer her. She's quiet for a moment and I know she's thinking and thinking hard.

"Does he know?" she asks even though I know she knows the answer.

"Of course not. How can I tell him Lily? How? And what if he denies it? What if he leave me to fend for myself? I can't raise a baby by myself." Of course I don't want a relationship with him. I just need to know he'll be there for our baby. I don't want my child to grow up fatherless. She seems to understand this and she nods. She has her determined glint in her eyes and she gets up lifting me along with her. I'm afraid of what she'll do now. I'm surprised I can even stand at all. I feel weak.

"Now's the perfect time to tell him," Lily tells me and pulls the door open.

"No!" I shout and Al and Malfoy stare at me like I'm a bloody fool. "Don't Lily, please!" I call but it's too late. Before my eyes Lily marches up to Malfoy and gives him a good hard slap right across his pale cheek. Al's face distorts into a combination of embarrassment, horror, and anger. Malfoy's too shocked to really register what happened and I'm too mortified to move. Al shouts at Lily and Lily, not afraid of Al's anger in the slightest, takes a step towards him.

"He deserved it," she says looking pointedly at me. Al's green eyes flick to me and then to Malfoy. His eyes say everything. He thinks that Malfoy's hurt me in some way. He's thinking the worst and his usually calm temper is about to explode. He turns the trademark Weasley red and faces Malfoy.

"What did you do to Rose?" He thunders so loudly that all of us jump and Malfoy takes a step back.

"I didn't do anything to her!" he yells back. His face is red now too but it's a lighter shade than Al's. With all this yelling I'm surprise that no one has come up stairs to see what all the fuss is about. I guess that Lily or Malfoy put up a silencing charm on the room so that someone wouldn't hear me sobbing. All this yelling and shouting is giving me a head ache. Lily really is in trouble big time. Wait 'til I get my hands on her. She's a dead Potter. Then they all start yell. Lily saying it's all his fault. Malfoy saying he didn't do anything and Al trying to figure out what's going on. It's all too much for me and it cannot be healthy for me at this point.

"Stop it! Stop it all of you! I don't need this! This isn't good for me! The stress could hurt the baby!" I screech at them at the top of my lungs. Yup someone definitely put up a silencing charm on the room but now it seems to have affected its occupants too. The three stare at me like I've grown a third head. Oh no. oh no oh no oh no. I didn't just say that out loud did I? Please Merlin let this be a nightmare. Please just make the Earth open up and swallow me whole.

"What?" the boys roar in confusion. I bite my lip but I can't really feel it. I'm a bit numb at the moment. Al's going to freak and this is the moment of truth for Malfoy. I'm scared out of my wits. I can't do this. I'm no brave Gryffindor! I'm such a bloody coward. I can't live to face this. Please Merlin just strike me down now. I take deep breaths and steady myself against the bathroom doorframe. They all look at me, but the boys are waiting in quiet for an explanation.

"I'm pregnant," I whisper so that only I can hear it. Saying it out loud has a whole different affect on me when I tell the boys. I just need to face this. I need to get it over with. Lily's right, it's now or never to tell him. I need to know the truth about him and he needs to know the truth about me. And Al deserves to know, too. He's my cousin and Malfoy's best friend. He needs to know too. Maybe this was what Lily had in mind. I've always been a now or never type of person. If it's not done the moment I think of it or I'm forced into it, it'll never get done. If I don't tell him now, I'll never have the guts to do it at all. So this time I'll say it louder. This time they'll hear me. This time I'm not giving up.

"I'm pregnant," I say firmly and loudly so they can't mistake what I've told them. I watch Malfoy's reaction carefully. He's too shocked to do anything but Al is seething and red with rage.

"By who?" He demands. I'm biting my lips again and this time the skin cracks from the pressure I put on it. I ignore Al and wait for Malfoy to say something.

"How far along?" Malfoy's voice is quiet and emotionless. I'm not sure if it's a good sign or not but I tell him anyway. Lily has a hand on Al's shoulder and she's putting all her strength into holding him back from charging up to me and forcing it out of me.

"A little more than six weeks," I close my eyes and wait for the yell. I wait for him to deny it. I wait for him to say, "So what does that have to do with me?" but he never does. Instead strong arms wrap around me and I'm lifted into the air. I let out a squeak of surprise but I never once open my eyes. This is some sick daydream sent to torture me. He can't possibly be happy about this, can he? I mean come on we're barely of age. And we're both going back to Hogwarts. A baby isn't on the agenda and it's not something I should be happy about, right?

"Rose, that's great!" Malfoy says in my ears, but I don't think it's so great. Because this is a dream. It's all one big dream. As soon as I open my eyes Malfoy will be shaking his head next to Al and calling me a whore. Lily will slap him again and Al will start to yell again. Then a brawl will break out and I'll be the cause of it. This is not reality. It's just not. Malfoy cannot be happy about this. It's impossible.

"No it's not. It's not great," I whisper to no one in particular. Malfoy sets me back on my feet but I can still feel his arms around me. I squeeze open one eye and am surprised when I see Malfoy's shoulder occupying my vision. I open the other eye and what do you know, Malfoy's standing right in front of me with a hurt look on his face. I didn't mean for him to hear my whisper but from the look on his face I know he heard. I hate myself. Sometimes I'm just so tactless.

"This is all a dream," I whisper to him trying to make dream Malfoy understand. I don't know why I'm trying to reassure a figure of my imagination but it makes me feel a little less wretched. His hurt look turns to confusion. Dream Malfoy is a lot like the real Malfoy seeing as they're both dense.

"This is all just a day dream. There's no way you can be happy about this. I'm just dreaming. In a moment or two I'll blink my eyes and you'll be gone. Malfoy will deny everything and I'll be left alone. That's the reality of it," I try to explain. Dream Malfoy takes a step back with his hands resting on my upper arm. Behind him I see dream Lily shaking her head with her hand on her forehead. Dream Al is staring open mouthed in confusion at dream Malfoy and me. I just want to be out of this bittersweet dream. I would love it if Malfoy was happy about this but whatever. It's not going to happen.

"You!" Al's yell brings me back to Earth. Lily can't hold her brother back any longer and she falls to the ground as Al pulls out of her grasp. He spins Malfoy by the shoulder to face him and then he does something horrible. He punches Malfoy right in the face. Malfoy sways a bit but he stands there and lets Al beat on him. His mouth is in a straight line and he's clearly in pain but he doesn't do anything back.

"Al!" I gasp, shocked that my cousin would do such a thing to his best friend. This is all getting too out of hand. Quick Rose think. Think damn it, you're a witch for Merlin's sake. Witch. That's it, my wand. Where did I put it? I look to Lily who's sitting on the floor watching in horror as her brother hits Malfoy mercilessly. Next to Lily is my wand. She must have brought it up for me.

"Lily! My wand, throw it," I tell her and she obeys instantly. I catch the wand and point it at Al.

"Petrificus Totalus!" I yell. The spell hits Al squarely in the chest and he's frozen in place. He looks scary. His usually messy hair is wilder than before. His eyes are moving angrily and an angry noise is coming from his throat. Malfoy is just standing there wiping blood from his lip. Al's messed him up badly but I quickly heal him with a simple charm. He's had enough to deal with. I feel horrible for this mess that I've made. I walk to Al and hug his frozen form.

"I'm sorry, Al," I whisper to him. It shouldn't have been kept from him. I can't imagine how he's feeling right now. His best friend knocked up his cousin. How would you feel?

"It just happened Al. I'm sorry. I asked him to not tell you. Hate me, don't hate him, please just hate me. Don't blame him." The thought of ruining their friendship tears me to pieces. I unfreeze Al and he turns on me instantly. At first he's so angry I think he's going to attack me but he doesn't. Instead he hugs me tightly.

"I could never hate you Rosie, never. But I couldn't hate him either. He's my best mate." He whispers back. He lets go of me and looks to Malfoy. He scratches the back of his head awkwardly and smiles sheepishly. Malfoy just shakes his head at Al.

"It's alright mate, I understand," He tells Al. Al sighs and they embrace like the brothers that they've grown to be. I will never understand guys. Ever.

"Well mate, Lily and I'll leave you two to it then," he looks to me and nods. I nod back a bit too numb to do anything else. This isn't how I planned it to be. Not at all. Lily smiles at me before she leaves. She knows she's in deep shit when I get my hands on her but she doesn't care. Her mission is complete, Malfoy knows, and I'm left to clean up my mess. Lily is a dead Potter.

"I didn't want to tell you this way," I tell him looking at my bare feet. I'm still in my bathing suit and I'm feeling really self conscious now. I mean, I know he's seen more but that's not the point. I'm in my bathing suit, alone with Malfoy, when I just told him I'm pregnant with his kid. I look up and find his eyes. He's studying me and I feel like I'm under a microscope.

"When you said it was great, did you mean it?" I ask him. I still think I dreamt that. There's no way he could have said that.

"What did you think I would say?" he whispers. I feel small when I'm near him so I sit to make myself tinier. He sits across from me and looks into my eyes.

"You can't run away, Rose. I know what you're trying to do. There's no point in hiding or deny it. It is what it is. You're pregnant with my child. I'm not leaving you alone, now." He says quietly. I swear I'm about to faint. Malfoy isn't going to leave me alone. Great. I'm not sure what I'm feeling now. I'm either extremely happy that he'll be here, or I'm really pissed off that he'll be there to annoy me. Merlin I hate getting what I want. Once you get it, it never seems quite right. I know, I know. I'm a picky unsatisfied teenager.

"My parents know," I gulp but never take my eyes off him. He seems to pale visibly but it's just my imagination.

"Right well, do they know about me?" he asks.

"No, but I'd like my Mum to know about you." I tell him. He plays with the concept a bit in his mind. He nods and stands on his feet. He extends his hand to me and I grab it as he pulls me up. His hand is warm and it snakes its way around my waist. This cannot be happening. This is all just a dream. Just one big dream. I can still hear his voice echoing in my ears. "What did you think I would say… you can't run away" I can't run away.

Once we reach the top of the steps I stop. I just realized. I still need to pee. Badly.


	4. Today Should Taste Much Sweeter

Chapter 4

Seven Weeks

It was surprising to feel happy again. I can't believe that only one week ago I had told my parents I was pregnant. I feel ten times lighter knowing that I had told my mother about Scorpius. That Scorpius knows about my baby, our baby. As every second passes I'm enchanted by the thought of my own living, breathing, loving thing to care for. Something that's mine to have and to hold forever. Something to love unconditionally. I had never thought about having children before, but now looking over the edge to my future as a mother I couldn't picture anything more perfect. Well not exactly perfect but pretty close.

Of course this was real life. It wasn't some silly little fairy tale. I'm not exactly expecting some corky knight in armor or anything to come and fall madly in love with me. A girl could hope, but I really don't care at this point. All that matters now is my baby, and its well being. Mum's been making sure I take all of my potions and such. She watches intensely to make sure I eat properly and don't put too much stress on myself. But the whole me-not-being-stressed thing isn't working. I mean my dad isn't here. He's like a part of me. It really pisses me off but it hurts me more than anything. And when I'm hurt I get mean and angry and pissed. I'm just a bit grumpy right now. And I mean, who wouldn't be?

Anyway today is my first Healers appointment. I unfortunately I don't get to see the ultrasound and all that neat stuff. Those silly picture things that look like a bunch of lines really don't look like anything to me. But still, it's my baby. _My _baby and I want to see it. It's hard to wrap my head around. Mum is nervous as hell. Dad still hasn't come home yet, but Mum found him over Uncle Charlie's in Italy. Uncle Charlie used to work at the cool dragon keeper's camp in Romania but he got transferred. Now he's in Italy and it's gorgeous there. Anyhow, back to Dad. He's fine but he won't come home. Him and Mum fought and I'm starting to get worried. Dad doesn't want to come home but Mum was so angry that I think she might not want him home.

It's just a tricky situation altogether. Not to mention Hugo flipped at Al's party. That caught everyone's attention. Hugo rarely flips, ever. He's always been the shy type. Not to mention the whole I'm-the-quiet-emotional-boy-that-holds-everything-inside act. He's so weird. But yea now my whole entire family knows. And I mean the _entire _family. Hugo has no concept of discretion. Bloody prick. I would have bloody punched him but whatever. He even had the bloody nerve to try to attack Scorpius. I was going to kill him.

Mum's yelling at me to come down stairs and get the bloody hell into the car. That's another thing. Mum has taken nicely to swearing. Since Dad left she curses almost every sentence at us. She's tense. I think she's just a bit lost without Dad here. We're all just a bit lost. I thunder down the stairs and lock the front door with a simple locking spell. I stuff my wand into my pocket and head to the car. Of course Hugo is sitting in the front seat with his arms crossed over his chest and listening to his stupid green Ipod loudly. I can hear his music from the garden. He's listening to Dead Poetic, and though he's listening to my favorite song by them, Molotov, I can't enjoy it. Listening to it that loudly just warbles the music into nonsense. Bloody Hugo has to ruin everything.

I barely get into the car when Mum speeds off towards **St. Bartleby's Maternity Hospital**. She prefers taking the muggle way everywhere if it isn't an emergency. Honestly, I like driving in the car, but not like this. It's completely silent except for Hugo's blaring music and I'm not going to say one word to Mum today. She's already in one of her moods. So I sit and watch the scenery go by. I really wish I could become an artist. I love to paint the muggle way and the magic way. It's so fun, relaxing, and if I really put my time and effort into a piece it looks beautiful. I sigh thinking about Hogwarts. I actually took wizarding art classes there in my spare time. It was amazing to say the least. But unfortunately my mum is driving too fast for me to really have time to enjoy the landscape surrounding us.

We're driving so fast that we arrive at **St. Bartleby's Maternity Hospital** in a half hour. It's normally an hour journey. I think my mother might have put a disillusionment charm on the car so that we wouldn't get pulled over. Oh well. I'll let her vent. We walk into the hospital and Scorpius is sitting in the small waiting room, waiting for us. He's looking a bit anxious and I think he's just about as nervous as I am. He insists on us using first names so I say a quiet, "Hullo, Scorpius" and sit next to him. He also insists calling me "Fox" because, and I quote, my "red hair and clever ways," remind him of a fox. A Fox? Yea, I'm in Slytherin but I am no "fox". And me? Clever? Is he deluded? I'm the furthest thing from clever anyone could think of. He's just an asshole. See what I mean? He's always trying to annoy me.

"How've you been, Fox? Everything good?" He asks as my mother goes up to the Healer at the front desk and begins to talk to her. Hugo sits as far away from Scorpius and I as he possibly can. He's still blasting his music and this time he's listening to The White Tie Affair. Another band that he's ruined. Against my will, my foot starts to tap to the beat of the song. "The Enemy" by TWTA is awesome, when Hugo isn't listening to it. Scorpius raises his eyebrow at my tapping foot and I shrug.

"I've been ok. Mum's been down my back every second of the day and Dad's still not home. He still doesn't know about you." I tell him and close my eyes, singing the words to the song in my head. The room smells, well, weird. Like some type of cleanser and the sickening sent of sweat mixed together in a ghastly combination. It's burning my nose and I'm getting that all too familiar feeling in my churning stomach. I sit and ignore the smell and my stomach. Some smells are deliciously sweet, like chlorine in the Potters' pool. I never noticed the smell of chlorine but I've started to really love the smell. It's tangy, and soft. I absolutely love it. But most smells are just disgusting. I threw up on our newly mopped kitchen floor when Mum used an icky pine scented cleanser the other day.

I shake my head and open my eyes. The stupid smell isn't going away so I guess I'll just have to get used to it. I really wish I could take my fingers and stuff them up my nose so that I can't smell anymore… Ok that was weird. I'm never going to think that again. I look to my left and Scorpius is still looking at me intently with a question on his face. What the hell was he looking at me like that for?

"What?" I ask. He's starting to bug me. I don't like being stared at. I really don't like that kind of attention. At all. Like, what? Do I have something on my face? Something in between my teeth? Is there like a mutant growing from the top of my head? What? Why is he staring at me? I don't think I have anything on my face. I run my tongue along my teeth. I don't feel anything there. I'm pretty sure that there isn't a mutant growing on my head. So…

"What are you staring at?" I finally ask him fully. He's so fricken dense. He smirks a little and shrugs.

"Nothing," he says as if he was innocent. As if I hadn't caught him staring at me. He pisses me off. He's smiling and pretending to be interested in a magazine about women's fashion. I roll my eyes. I have no idea what he's up to so I ignore him. I take another look around the small room out of sheer boredom. The walls are bright white, too white, and the hard plastic chairs are a deep navy blue. Pamphlets and magazines about pregnancy, parenting, witches' health, and witches in general litter every end table and shelf in the room. There's a small telly in a corner mounted on the wall. The picture is static-y and the news reporter can barely be heard. I wonder why they have a telly. This is a wizarding hospital, so what's with the muggle contraption? I really don't know, or care. I'm just looking for something that will occupy my interest. There's nothing in here to do but wait. I hate waiting.

Finally, after what seems like forever, a young perky Healer's Assistant walks through a door to my right and calls out my name. I jump in surprise and stand looking over at Scorpius. His eyes are laughing at my surprise but he doesn't make a sound as he smiles at me and follows the perky Assistant through the door. Out in the hall there are Healers dressed in sterile white and Healer's Assistant in a light spring green or powdery pink. All the pastel colors are making me sick. I can only take so much. I mean I know this is a maternity hospital but come on. Why pink?

I dislike pink, a lot. It's so stereotypical for baby girls to have pink clothes and pink rooms and pink everything. What? Just because I'm a girl I have to like pink? Wrong. I hate how everyone thinks that. When my baby comes, boy or girl, I'm not going to paint it's room pink or blue. Nope, I'm gonna paint it yellow. Light pollen yellow.

But that's besides the point. All the Healers and such are pretty much everywhere at once. It's making my head spin. They're all walking so fast and I swear I'm going to get run over. Ugh, I hate Healer's offices. Everything is so busy, yet monotonous. It seems as if nothing changes. It's so boring. And I can't stand boring anymore than I can stand pink.

The healer-person-woman-thing that is really starting to annoy me, with her pretty in pink-ness and her hi-there attitude, turns and leads us all into a small cramped examination room. She leaves with a lingering smile at Malfoy and shuts the door behind her. Stupid wench. She's probably a harlot at night. With all that stupid make-up. That looks she gave him was totally obvious. But oh well. Who cares? Why the hell would he be interested in her anyway? She wasn't even pretty. Her nose was too long and her cheeks too high. Besides, I'm the one having his baby. She really has no business looking at him. None what-so-ever. Oh well. I really shouldn't be getting myself worked up.

Is it me or is this room really, really crowded? And why didn't they magically enlarge it? Bloody idiots. Wankers. Pricks. I'd call them a whole string of bad words that I shouldn't say right now but the door's opening. A Healer comes in wearing a deep purple lab coat with a stethoscope in her ears. Her hair is red but more auburn than the Weasley clan's trademark red. She's wearing glasses on her head with a half-moon shape to them. She's a bit older than I expected with dangling earrings and a wide smile. I like her. She has a wild feel to her. Like a free spirit really. She seems genuinely amazing to me. My first impression is already made and she seems like an all-knowing woman to me. I hope she's as great as she looks.

"Well isn't everyone just dandy in here?" the healer asks sarcastically as she hops onto a countertop and lowers her eyes to the clipboard in her hand. The room expands and it seems as if everyone can breath a bit more. I take a step back from everyone and sigh.

"So Rose, I know it must get tiresome but I need to ask: how far along are you?" It seems to be a question that gets boring after a while. I know that she of all people needs to ask but I swear if I hear one more person ask me that question I'm going to barf on them. Honestly, you would think people could mind their own business. I roll my eyes and smile at the same time. This Healer's lucky that I like her, or else she would be getting a mouthful right now.

I open my mouth to tell her but someone, a very annoying someone I might add, beats me to it.

"It's been seven weeks," Malfoy says with a nervous glance at me. Oh, come on! I wasn't going to say anything rude! I glare at Malfoy and bite my tongue so that I don't say anything. Stupid Prick. She was talking to me. The Healer raises her eyebrow and nods.

"Uh huh," she says and writes something down on her clipboard. Her quill has a peacock feather at the end and it glimmers in the sickening florescent lights. It would be pretty, if I wasn't in a mood.

"And you're the father, am I right? Mr.…" She trails off.

"Malfoy," Scorpius finishes for her, "Scorpius Malfoy." He's such a prat. Really, as if he's going to impress anyone, just because his last name's Malfoy. Big Deal. He's such a show off. With his stupid smile on, he thinks he's the bloody king of the universe. Merlin I wish I could smack that smile right off his stupid face. The Healer doesn't say anything as she writes on her clipboard, then she looks up and smiles at me.

"Well Rose, my name is Leonora, Leonora Strauss. Just call me Leo. I'm sure you'll be a fine mum, but it's getting there that's the hard part. Do you want it sugarcoated, or do you want the real deal?" Hr. Strauss asks me. Hmmm… this is a hard choice I must say. I might as well get it over with. I mean really, I need to know what I'm up against.

"I'm not in the mood for sweets, what's the deal?" I ask her in return. My stomach is kind of churning again as she looks at me. I'm not going to like this.

"You might have experienced some of this already but here it goes. Your breast get bigger and that's not a plus because they get sore too. You'll get tired easily and sometimes you'll get sick. Why they call it morning sickness? I have no clue because it can happen at anytime of the day. You'll have backaches, headaches, mood swings, cramps, food cravings and you'll have to pee a lot. It's not going to be pretty. You'll most likely be an emotional wreck, poor thing, but I'll tell you one thing. Pregnancy might not be pretty, but the result is. You'll start showing soon." The woman is listing things like crazy, but it's ok. I've heard this all from mum anyway. It's not really a surprise.

Scorpius on the other hand, looks down right terrified. That silly smile that was on his face a few moments ago has pulled a Houdini. It's nowhere to be seen, and his eyes are wide as saucers, and I'm pretty sure that if it wasn't rude his jaw would be hanging like an open door on a summer night. Honestly, what did he expect? And he doesn't even have to go through this! I Do. So what's he so scared about anyway?

I mean sure, pregnancy leads to an infant, but that's not so scary. Not really, I mean, it's just a baby. Who could be scared of a harmless, helpless little thing? I'm not. Not at all. I mean it's a human right? Yea, a human that's completely dependant on me. One that cries and whines, one that has demands that I need to meet. But what if I can't meet those demands? What happens if something goes wrong with the baby? What if it's some horrible monstrosity? What if it turns out like Draco Malfoy?

Oh. My. God. Draco Malfoy! What if he finds out? He's going to attack me, I just know it. The Sod. I can see it now. And what about Scorpius's mum? I've never met Astoria Malfoy! What if she's just as bloody crazy as her husband? I'm dead. I swear, if I thought my parents would kill me it was just hypothetically speaking, as in they would if they could but they can't so they won't. But Scorpius's mum and dad? Oh no, I'm sure they would quite literally kill me. My arse is going to be Avada Kedavra-ed. Shite. I never even thought to ask Scorpius about his parents. Damn, bloody, sodden, hormones!

Hr. Strauss is now looking at me with her kind purplish grey eyes. She's looking really hard at me. I'm under a microscope, I know, but I can't seem to stop fidgeting. Blast it.

"You'll be fine sweetheart. Just don't stress yourself out and owl me if anything happens or if you have any questions. Alright?" I nod and smile. It's over. Finally, my first prenatal visit to the healers is over. Relief is strangling me right about now. I can barely breathe because of it. I stand to go and I'm the last one to the door. A hand on my shoulder stops me before I can walk out and I look back to Hr. Strauss.

"He'll be fine too, I can tell. He just needs time to adjust. He's going to be scared shitless at first but he'll come around. Just give him time." She whispers with a wink.

"Thank you, Healer Strauss," is all I can say. Because really, what am I supposed to say?

"Call me Leo," she says. Then the room returns to its usual tiny space and I walk out. I'm not really sure what she meant. But it doesn't really matter right now. She probably thinks we're together, but that isn't bloody likely. At the end of the hall I can see Scorpius talking to that stupid Healer Assistant that didn't expand the room. Bloody Bitch. She's flirting and he has this stupid expression that looks like he's midway between laughing and crying. It's quite comical actually. She's laying it on a bit thick. She can't see his face really, she's so… blonde… I could just leave him there. I could let him suffer through her endless flirting. Or I could be nice and save him… Then again I'm not really a nice person. And it's really none of my business. I mean I'm only carrying his child. It's not like he means anything to me. It's not like I'm anything to him either. We mean nothing to each other. Absolutely nothing. Yea, right, nothing.

"Oh, Darling you didn't have to wait for me! How sweet of you." I smile as I reach the pair and wrap my fingers through his. He doesn't know whether to be relieved or scared. He looks to me and then smiles.

"Of course I'd wait for you. Cara, here, was keeping me company as I waited." She looks between the two of us and her face has dropped visually. Ha. Take That! She fakes a smile at me and says, "It was nice meeting you. I have to get back to work." And she's gone. Scorpius and I leave but we're still holding hands. I must admit, though I would never say it out loud, his hands are warm and they feel wonderful against my palm. But I'm just being silly. It's nothing. But if it's nothing then why won't I let go of his hand? Why can't I stop smirking? And why do I want to break that girl's pretty little face?


	5. You Said It All

Chapter Five

The last two weeks have passed without much event. It's August 31th now and I'm starting to show a little bit, but not much. It's like I'm constantly bloated and only I can tell. It's an irritation, an itch I can't scratch. Every time I ask my mum about it, she just shakes her head and smiles. Bloody help she is. I swear, if she wasn't my mother I would think she's insane. Then again, I probably know better than anyone how completely bonkers she is. But that doesn't even compare to how bonkers my life has become, what with the pregnancy and all.

My morning sickness has slowed a bit and those around me have adjusted to my mood swings because let's be honest, they were always there before. Leo says that I'm officially ten weeks into my pregnancy, because supposedly pregnancy starts at my last period, not conception. It's a weird concept, but so far it's been smooth sailing as far as the pregnancy goes. Things have calmed down with my family as well. Dad's still not back but he and Mum are on talking terms again, which I'm grateful for. I could handle ruining my life, I couldn't handle ruining theirs. Dad says he just needs some time alone to adjust and I can understand that. I just wish he hadn't walked right out the door and I really hope he's not still mad at me because I'm not so mad at him anymore. I just want him back.

I'm also nervous as hell about going back to Hogwarts. Tomorrow I'll be on the train to Hogwarts for the last time. And then, well, I'll be getting bigger. People will start to notice that I'm becoming a whale with red hair. The questions will start. The rumors will start. And right in the middle of everything will be me and Scorpius. Right smack dab in the middle of the whole sodden mess. That's where I'll be.

But I guess that's the price of my stupidity. And that enticing little action Scorpius and I performed back in June. It still makes me blush every time I think about it, even though I'm alone. Since the pregnancy you would think that everything in my life has become drama, right? Nope. No such luck for me. It's fairly boring now. I mean it's a Friday night and I'm sitting alone, reading a book, while my "barely showing" stage is wasting away. First off I'll be at Hogwarts, and second I'll be a red-headed whale. Doesn't exactly make it easy to go out and have fun now does it?

Of course there are ways to get around the Hogwarts Problem, as I refer to it regularly. Al and Lily do have the Marauder's map and sneaking out to take the knight bus somewhere has been done before by us. But the fat whale thing? Yea, that's a dream killer, that one. So I have no idea what it's going to be like at Hogwarts but I know I'm going to hate it. Yea, I'm kicking myself in my arse right about now. Not that I wasn't doing that earlier, but still. The problem is starting to really sink in. Forget the I'm-going-to-have-an-infant-soon part. What about the I'm-going-to-lose-my-life part? Never thought about that, now did I? Stupid, stupid Rosie.

I sigh and flip to the next page of my book. I smile and continue reading Pride and Prejudice. Jane Austen really did know what romance should be like. It's a shame it can't be that way anymore. I'd kill for a Mr. Darcy in my life. But that's never going to happen now is it? Not that it would have happened without me being pregnant. No one really does put enough into romance these days. Nowadays every so-called "romance" novel is just some trashy book with lots of smut. As much as I love those trashy novels, it's just not the same. I mean, honestly. Whatever happened to prince-charming and the honorable knight-in-shining-armor? Or even that really sweet guy that you barely know, but he secretly gives you flowers every day until you find out who he is and then you fall completely head over heels for him and you live happily ever after? Whatever happened to that guy?

Another sigh escapes my lips and I find that I really can't concentrate on my book anymore, no matter how good it is. So I lay my head on the pillow and close my eyes, wishing that sleep would cure my boredom. But nothing happens and the more I lay there with my eyes closed, the more I begin to really think about everything that's going on in my life. I roll over, trying to make my mind go blank but it's not bloody working. Why is nothing going the way I want it to? Why can't I just go the bloody hell to sleep?

There's a tap from somewhere in the room but I ignore it. The late summer breeze flutters through the cracked open window and chills the room a bit too much for my taste. There's another tap but I just shake it off as I turn to lie on my other side. It's so frustrating that I can't make myself sleep. I'm not asking my body for much, just a few hours of uninterrupted unconsciousness. But of course not. I can't possibly have that and now I'm reduced to being some stupid whiny bint, even if the complaints are only in my head. There's too much on my mind. There's another tap this time. It's louder and clearly coming from outside my window.

Excitement swells in my throat. Maybe it's Al, come to save me from my self-induced prison. Or maybe it's Lily here to apologize and have a girl's night out like we used to. I hope it is, because being cooped up in this house is driving me more insane than the pregnancy is. That and I miss Lily. I stopped talking to her for that little stunt she pulled with Malfoy, but the longer I don't talk to her the more like shit I feel and the more I miss her tart sarcastic voice. I hurry to the window now, completely sure that it's Lily. But when I get there I see that it's just an owl. I've never seen the owl before and it's hard to tell its color because of the dark. I open the window but the owl doesn't come in. It sits on the window sill, holding its pert little claw out for me to take the parchment. I don't have any owl treats for it so it ruffles its feathers, gives an angry hoot, and flies off, unceremoniously startling me half to death.

"Well soor-ry," I mutter before opening up the small message that the owl has so graciously brought me. The script is thin, barely legible handwriting and the parchment is of a better quality than average. It's funny how I notice the trivial things instead of focusing on the big picture. The big picture being what the message actually said. The message telling me to "look down." Of course I don't look down right away. It takes me a few moments to register the words and muster the wit to follow the simple instructions. And when I finally do there's Scorpius, standing outside my window with a boom box above his head… not. This isn't a movie, it's my life and it's far less simple than Say Anything, though John Cusack looks pretty good in a weird, unconventional way. Anyway, Scorpius is waiting outside, standing beneath my window, looking up at me with a smirk. Glaring, I open the window completely and stick out my heads.

"What on Earth are you doing here, Malfoy" I hiss at him. He's still smirking, the git.

"Come down, I want to show you something," he says in his most charming voice. It's not working on me, however. Charming or not he's still Scorpius Malfoy.

"If you wanted to show me something you should have come at a reasonable time. Good night, Scorpius." I put my hands on the window and started to pull it down.

"Wait, Rose. Come on, it's the last night we have before going to Hogwarts." This makes me pause. On one hand, he's right. On the other, I could get into major trouble for sneaking out. Then again, how much more trouble can a pregnant teenage girl get herself into?

"Your barely showing stage is wasting away," he points out. That makes up my mind.

"Fine!" I hiss and I shut the window. He's still smirking and I scowl at him before turning away to get dressed. I dress quickly in jeans and a gray t-shirt and grab a large black hair clip and my black jacket since it's a little chilly outside. I've already taken my contacts out for the night so I make sure to take my glasses with me in case I need them. A simple spell fixes my messy hair into soft curls and I shove my wand into my tote bag. I take one last look in the mirror and head for the front door. It takes me a few moments because I move quietly and slowly, but no one stirs as I sneak out the front door and lock it behind me.

Malfoy is waiting for me in the shadows and surprisingly isn't stupid enough to try and startle me. I cross my arms over my chest as I go over to him.

"Alright, Scorpius. What did you want to show me?" I ask in the most irritated voice I can muster. Scorpius rolls his eyes and smiles. It's a genuine smile, not one of his stupid infuriating smirks and the smile scares me a little. I don't know what to expect from him now. All of the sudden I find myself incredibly nervous and self-conscious. As if he's going to notice every little flaw that I've ever had in my life and believe me, that's a really long list. I feel as if he's watching my every move and response with a calculating eye for detail. He stretches out his hand for me to take and I look at it. His hands look almost callous, but when I take his hand in mine it's surprisingly smooth and callous free. It's also very warm and my mind flashes back to my first healer's visit. I blush a little and I'm glad he can't see it in the dark. Why on earth did that girl make me so mad?

I'm still wondering this as I let Scorpius lead me down the street to the apparating point. He stops and my mind is brought back to the present. The smart ass in me wants to ask him if this dingy alley is really what he wanted to show me, but I refrain. Something tells me any smart comments will ruin everything and I'm not exactly sure what everything is at the moment but I don't want to ruin it, whatever it is.

"Ready?" he asks me quietly. I nod and I guess he sees me through the darkness because the next moment I feel that unpleasant sensation of being sucked through a tube. I can't breathe for a moment and I'm wondering if this is good for the baby. I don't think so, and it's something I'll have to ask Leo about when I get the chance to send her an Owl. For now, it'll have to wait, because the view here is beautiful. I have no idea where I am right now, but I know I won't want to leave for a while. The moon is really bright and it's as if there's no darkness. It's just a dim shadow that makes everything look like it's shining. I can tell we're in some kind of valley but I've never seen anything like this.

The clearing is large with a creek that splits the clearing and runs into a pond with dozens of tiny fish swimming around. Crickets are chirping but it doesn't disturb the peacefulness. The noise just adds a certain charm to the lush valley. For the first time in a long time, I am utterly speechless. This is the type of place that every painter dreams of and I'm wishing I had my supplies with me. I haven't been in to mood to paint for a bit and this scene is truly inspiring. All the while I admire the scene before me, I'm dimly aware that Scorpius is watching me, gauging my reaction. He must have gotten the reaction he wanted because he smiles at me again, pure and genuine. I return the smile, though somewhat uncertainly. No one's ever brought me to a place as beautiful as this.

"So you like it then?" he asks quietly.

"Like it?" I finally find my voice, "It's brilliant! How'd you find this place?" He shrugs and starts walking to the pond's edge. I follow him, hoping for an answer.

"Camping with my dad," He says as he sits. I sit too and turn my gaze to the clear water. The fish are lazily swimming around and they all scatter as I dip my fingers in the cold water. "It's just a place I like to be and I camp here a lot," I heard him say.

"It's wonderful Scorpius," I told him quietly. He doesn't answer but I get why he's keeping quiet. There's not much to say in this peaceful place and to say too much would just disturb the nice silence. So we're each left to our thoughts and I can't stop thinking of the past few months. My life has gone so off course I'm not sure which way is up or down or left or right.

It's funny the way life works. I had been so terrified of being placed in Slytherin House my first night at Hogwarts and then bam! I was in Slytherin and everything was okay. My parents still loved me, Al was still my closest friend, and when it came her time Lily was placed in Slytherin too. I thought my world had ended that night and I wasn't sure of myself at all. But everything had turned out ok. Life has a funny way of giving you exactly what you don't want but sometimes it's what you need. And now I'm in a similar position, hoping that it's exactly what I need.

I'm not sure of anything and I'm so terrified of my future. I feel like my life is ending and I'm hoping that it isn't and just like before everything will be okay. It's a bit much to ask for but I'm willing to make it work. I'm determined. I keep trying to tell myself that some things happen for a reason, but I'm finding that hard to believe. I see no reason in my life anymore. All I see is an utter mess. But as I'm thinking all of these scary thoughts, Scorpius breaks the silence and grabs my attention again.

"Are you afraid of what it's going to be like? At Hogwarts?" he asks me in the most serious tone I've ever heard him use. It's weird, talking this way with Scorpius. It feels almost too intimate. I'm seeing a part of him I've never seen before and is scares me a little bit. But lately everything in my life has been a new and completely different experience. Despite my urge to run away, I stay and answer him honestly.

"Yes. I'm quite terrified really," I whisper, but I know he can hear me. He's silent for another few minutes. There's not much he can say to that. Nothing he can say will make me feel otherwise. Nothing will calm the fear that's bubbling in my throat as a baby grows inside me. I've accepted that, and while I'm not as brave as a Gryffindor I'll do what I have to. There's a loud pop from behind me and I must have jumped three feet in the air because Scorpius bursts into laughter, presumably at me. Collecting myself, I glare at him, back to our old selves again. None of the scary seriousness remains and I stand up, putting my hands on my hips. Still glaring, I turn to where the sound of apparating came from. Through the trees I can see two figures making their way towards me. One is significantly taller than the other and my heart leaps as the two figures emerge from behind the trees.

"Lily!" I shout before running to her and gripping her in a desperate hug. I needed to see her. Before Hogwarts. I missed my best friend. "I've missed you. I'm sorry." I whisper into the younger girl's hair. Lily rubs my back a little and I know that everything is forgiven. We're still best friends.

"No. I'm sorry," she whispers back, her tone equally low, "I shouldn't have done what I did." With that we let go and I grin at her, then I turn to Al. He grabs me in a hug that I gladly return.

"Hi, Al."

"Hey, Rosie, how've you been?" he asks as he lets me go.

"Alright. You?"

"I've been fine thanks. Bit bored lately." I laugh and the three of us go to join Scorpius sitting in the grass. I could barely contain my happiness at having the three of them around me. Yes, even Scorpius, though he was still a prat. He's here to stay, whether I like it or not. So I decide to give it a rest, at least for tonight. I was actually having a good time after what seemed like forever, just talking to them, shooting the shit and having a laugh. I'm proud to say that Scorpius and I got along quite well. I hope it'll last. After all, he is the father of my unborn child. He isn't going anywhere.

A/N: Hey guys!

Sorry for such a long wait but things get crazy, especially when I can't focus on just one of my fics and I have tons of little plot bunnies hopping around in my head making me dizzy. Anyways, thanks for the reviews and I really hope you like this chapter. I know much doesn't happen and I really don't like how the chapter ended but I was desperate for an update so this is a kind of filler chappie. I promise some Rosie Scorpy friction next chapter. This aw everything is happy thing is not going to last long for our favorite foxy girl. Mwuahahahaha *laughs evilly*

Thanks for reading and please don't forget to review! I really love it when you do!

-Bee 3


	6. Saying Nothing At All

Why is it that every single year on September first my house is a complete loony bin? September first really shouldn't be able to exist because of the madness it causes. And no matter how many times we say we'll be prepared, we'll be on time, everything will go smoothly, it never ever does. I mean, we know it is coming up. It's not a surprise; at least it shouldn't be, not anymore. It has been 6 bloody years that we've had to go through the mess of September first before today. And mum and dad should have certainly had more practice than that. You would think we'd have perfected the art of packing everything up and getting to king's cross. But not my family of course. Oh no, not the Weasleys.

So now I am running around trying to catch Hugo's stupid pet rat because my stupid pet cat, MewMews, decided that Critter looked delicious this morning and scared the stupid thing half to death. He's currently shivering beneath Hugo's wardrobe and bloody impossible to corner. Hugo's on his hands and knees, bum in the air, trying to gently call the rat into his waiting grasp as I wait behind him to catch Critter if Hugo doesn't. One squeak and one loud "Ha!" later, Critter is packed in his cage, huddling in a corner and nibbling on some comforting cheese. With one panic wave over, we continue to rush around and collect our things. I head to the bathroom to make sure all my vitamins and such are packed safely away in my Hogwarts trunk. Mum would kill me if I forgot them. That seems to be the common theme for today. Mum's going to kill someone. I just hope it's not me.

Once we're all packed, Mum hurries us into the car and then starts to drive like a speed demon. She's a nutter, my mum. She definitely put a disillusion charm on the car, though. Cars seem to be jumping out of our way and we just sped past a police car and we weren't being pulled over for speeding. I love my mum, really, and she's brilliant and everything, but seriously she's scary. Like, Hello! I'm prego. With a baby. And you're driving like a nutcase? Silly mummy, with your crazy skills. After a ridiculously fast car ride and one vomit stop on the way, we arrive at King's Cross with about 20 minutes to spare. It's pretty much the first time that I've never had to run to jump on the train. Not sure how I feel about that really. It feels unnatural to be here so early. It could be a sign, a bad bad sign.

Once we're on platform 9 ¾, Mum is unstoppable, fighting her way through the throng of students and parents. It's a hassle to keep up with her with our trunks to pull but somehow Hugo and I manage it and we reach Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry. They give us all a warm greeting and then mum is lost in conversation and I'm left to crane my neck to find Al and Lily. I don't see them anywhere but after a few moments of looking I spot someone that's all too familiar. Scorpius Malfoy is standing a ways off from my family smiling and talking to the biggest bitch in the whole entire school. Okay, so maybe she's not the biggest bitch in the school. Hell she's not even really all that much of a bitch at all but I still feel like punching the girl right on the nose.

These thoughts really are a testament to how horrible a person I am because Camilla Hayes is probably the nicest person in the whole universe. She's kind and caring and is always more considerate of others. She's polite and shy and smart. She's one of those goody-two-shoes that follows all the rules and spends her summer holidays doing charity work. She's also very pretty with long blonde hair, pretty green eyes and skin that looks like it belongs to a porcelain doll. Her body shape is curvy in all the right places and her legs look super long in our school skirt. Camilla Hayes is pretty damned near perfect, which is why I don't understand what Scorpius would see in her. She's like super nice and he's totally not. But it's obvious that they are flirting and when his parents come up he introduces her, laughing the whole time. They look like the happiest little family in the whole wide world. Ugh, it makes me feel like puking.

I don't know why I'm still watching them but I can't pull my eyes away. Particularly from Draco Malfoy. He's handsome, like really handsome, but he has this scowl that seems to be a permanent feature and his eyes scan the crowd as if at any moment someone is going to pop out and attack him. He's tall and muscular and in all honesty he scares the shit out of me. I mean the man is a former death eater and now he's going to play grandda to my kid? Now that's what I call bat shit crazy. Suddenly his piecing grey eyes are on me and I look away, afraid to make eye contact. For a split second it seems as if he can see right through me, as if he knows I'm carrying his future grandchild, but the moment is gone and he looks away, scanning the crowd like before. It's a great thing that I wasn't sorted into Gryffindor, I always feel like such a bloody coward. I can't even look Malfoy's dad straight in the eye. I try to avoid looking in their direction again but I just can't help myself. My eyes feel like strong magnets that can't pull away from the sight of Scorpius and Camilla laughing. The sight's damned near burned into my retinas.

"Hey, Rosie. What's up?" Lily walks up behind me and puts her small hand on my shoulder.

"Oh nothing much…" I can hear myself trailing off, not really paying attention to her. Scorpius puts his hand on the small of her back and I think I see red. These small waves of jealousy really aren't healthy at all. Scorpius and I aren't dating! We are not in any way romantically involved, I can't stand the sight of him, and I'm seeing red all the sudden when he talks to another girl? I've gone mental! Seriously, I've said it before but I've never meant it as much as I do now. I need to be locked up in the safe confines of a mental institution.

"Rose!" Scorpius's head shoots up at the shout and I'm forced to turn quickly before he finds out that I've been staring. Lily, with her hands on her hips, is glaring at me and pursing her lips. She must have been trying to get my attention for a while and I feel bad for not hearing her.

"Sorry Lils," I run my hand through my hair and my nails feel good against my scalp. It's a soothing feeling when someone plays with my hair, even if that someone is just me. "What's up?" Her face softens and she rolls her eyes.

"Look," she instructs me as she points behind me. Well that's honestly not comforting because there could be a number of horrible things waiting behind me and I really don't want to look if it is something horrible. Lily doesn't sound exactly happy about it but she's not scared so I'm guessing it's not that bad. She smiles at me and I roll my eyes as I turn around. At first I don't see anything, looking at the horde of people. To be honest, I feel a bit like an idiot for turning around, like at any moment Lily will turn around and say "Made you look, you dirty crook! haha gotcha Rosie!" like she used to when we were little. Then I see it, well him really, 'cause my dad certainly isn't an it. He's a ways off, hands shoved dourly in his jean pockets, looking extremely uncomfortable as his eyes scan the crowd. He's here for me and the thought makes me smile. But then he spots me and I let the smile vanish. Here or not, he still left me when I needed him and that wasn't okay.

Still, he's here! I can't believe it. I didn't think he'd ever come back and it's been a long month without him. I've missed my daddy and I need him now more than ever before. I half believe he's a day dream, like at any moment I'll snap out of it and I'll be on the train stuffed in a hot compartment with Scorpius and several of my cousins. But no, he's actually here, fighting the crowd of students to get to me. By the time he reaches me, Lily has tactfully gone off to her parents and my arms are folded defensively across my chest. It actually hurts a bit with the weight of my arms resting on my sore breasts but I think I'll live so I ignore the pain. The train whistle sounds which means my ass needs to get on that train before it leaves in ten minutes. But that can seriously wait. I want to see what my dad has to say.

"Hi, Rosie." Rosie. No one has called me Rosie since the night he left. I hadn't even realized how much I liked the nickname until now.

"Hello, dad," he squirms uncomfortably and turns a bit pink at my cold tone. Clearly this reunion isn't going the way he planned because he takes off his flat cap and wipes his forehead of sweat. I feel bad that I'm making him nervous but a few moments of discomfort should make up for a month of absence. He shuffles his feet as I wait for him to speak again. I refuse to make this easy for him.

"Rosie, I'm sorry and I know that's not good enough for not being around but I truly am and I miss you and your mother and Hugo and I've had some time to think and I'm just a thickhead and a horrible father and I—" he says it all so fast that I can barely understand him. Merlin, he does not do apologies well.

"Stop! Stop it, Dad, just stop talking." His face sinks even lower into his frown if that's possible and his face is turning a brighter red from embarrassment. I don't think he fully understands why I've stopped him.

"Well I guess I'll just leave then…" Seriously, is he thick or what? As he turns to leave I grab his hand to stop him.

"You are _not_ a horrible dad, I promise you're not." I pull him in for a hug and he seems a bit confused, but he hugs me back and I know everything is going to be alright now that he's come to see me off. The train whistle signals five minutes until departure and I finally let him go.

"Come on, let's go find mum and Hugo," I say grabbing his hand and pulling him in their direction. He follows wordlessly and I get the feeling he's slightly afraid to face mum. Then again, who wouldn't be? Mum's been a terror honestly. Hopefully dad can sort her out and everything will be back to normal, or as normal as they can be with me being a red-headed whale and all. When she sees him, mum goes red, surpasses red to maroon, and then turns the plum color my father can only achieve on special occasions. Her face is puffed up as if she's holding her breath. Actually, I think she _is _holding her breath. And in a big gust she lets her cheeks deflate and she smiles.

"I thought I was a goner for a moment there," he whispers to me.

"For a second there, so did I," we laugh and everything really is back to normal. Mum comes to stand next to him and grabs his hand squeezing gently. Hugo comes over and is beaming at dad. They hug briefly and I have this sappy moment in which I hug them all and try very hard not to burst into tears. I know I know, sappy and completely out of character but I couldn't help it. I blame the parasite. The whistle sounds for last minute boarders and I give my parents a tearful goodbye. Hugo and I hop onto the train and then they're gone, lost in a blur of train tracks and smoke. I hope they smooth everything over. I know mum just didn't want to cause a scene or stress me out. I'm sure dad's going to be sleeping on the couch for a fair few days, but mum will forgive him eventually. She always does. I turn to see if Hugo wants to sit with me but he's already half way down the train car searching for his friends. I guess the family moment is over.

So I head in the opposite direction to look for Al and Lily, or at least Lily, at the back of the train. I know that Al is probably sitting with Scorpius and I'd rather not see him right now. Holding MewMews's basket and lugging this giant trunk behind me is becoming a major pain in the arse though. You would think Hugo would have been the gentleman and carried it for me, but of course this is Hugo we're talking about and I don't even think the word "gentleman" is in his vocabulary. And Lily could have least picked a compartment close to where we got on so that I wouldn't have to walk so far. Does no one think about someone other than themselves? Really I'm surrounded by selfish people.

After walking down about three train cars, I'm about to give up my search. I mean how long is this damned train anyway? Feels like I've walked three miles already. And I haven't even checked the front compartments yet. But those are usually where the first years congregate. Closer to the prefects and all I guess. That and all the older kids know better than to sit near the prefects' compartments. They're a bunch of bloody wankers out to ruin any fun. I know Al would avoid them at all costs seeing as he is one. He hates being a prefect, says it makes him seem like a rule-abiding twit. I always tell him he is a twit, even if he doesn't always follow the rules. He never goes to the meeting on the train at the beginning of the year so he hides in the back and sits with the non-prefects. And as predicted Al is sitting in the second to last compartment with his sister, Malfoy, and the ever so perfect Camilla Hayes.

"Well isn't this just a peachy sight?" I try to keep my voice light and airy but I'm not sure if it works. I drag in my trunk behind me and close the compartment door. They all look happy enough and for some reason this annoys me greatly. I've been searching for them all along the train and here they are having a right good laugh together. Just forget the red-headed whale and her feelings right? Lily must see my mood change coming on because she looks at me with panicky eyes.

"Here Rosie, we saved you a seat," she slides closer to Camilla and pats the seat next to her. I sit down, trying to calm myself. There really is no need for this sudden anger. I shouldn't make a scene, not here, not in front of miss perfect. Instead I focus on the spell to lift my trunk onto the shelf above me and answering my cousin.

"Thanks," I mutter. "Avoiding prefect duties again Al?" My dark-haired cousin grins and I just want to smack it off his face, but I don't. I just raise an eyebrow and try to act like a normal human-being.

"I'm not a prefect anymore," Al grins bigger and Scorpius shakes his head smiling. "I'm head boy!"

"What?" Embarrassingly enough my voice is just a squeek, somewhere between outraged and elated. Even though the git doesn't deserve it, being made Head Boy really is a big deal. On the other hand, when was he going to tell me? Was I always going to be last to know everything? Lily must have known and she didn't tell me. Scorpius obviously knew, he was grinning from ear to ear. Even Camilla seems happy for Al. Was I the only person who hadn't heard Al's good news?

"And when were you going to tell me?" I couldn't help it, my hands went straight to my hips in what my cousins called "The Weasley Woman". Apparently every Weasley woman did it when they were angry, even my mum who's a Weasley by marriage. She says she learned it from grandma Weasley at a pretty early age; she used to use it on dad all the time. Still does actually. So it's in my blood, the stern look, hands on the hips, and somehow I know I manage not to look stupid though I'm sitting down. Al's grin fades a bit.

"Calm down, Fox."

"Great now you too, Al? Thanks Malfoy." I glared at Scorpius but they both ignored me, smiling at my annoyance.

"I just found out today. Tracey Herman would have been Head Boy, if he hadn't been caught with drugs in his room. Muggle parents and all. They pulled him out of school so he could go to rehab. Apparently he had a problem. He used them to stay up late and study and all. That's how he got the good grades and all." Al could barely hide the glee in his voice and when he finished he began laughing. Scorpius joined him and Lily just rolled her eyes at their stupidity.

"Al don't laugh, that's so messed up," usually I would have laugh with them but I just couldn't laugh at someone else's stupid mistakes anymore, not when my own was so colossal and soon everyone would be laughing at my dumb mistake.

"It's just so stupid," Al replies, "I mean come on he was a Ravenclaw and of age! Surely there were better hiding places than his sock drawer? How thick can you get?"

"Anyway Al, how do you know all this about Tracey? Surely McGonagall didn't tell you."

"I overheard his girlfriend crying about it in the loo. Seems he wrote her an owl last night telling her why he wasn't coming back to school. She seemed quite upset about it. I was just telling your cousins and Scorpy when you walked in." It's Camilla who answers, her voice as sweet as honey and seemingly concerned for Tracey Herman's girlfriend. But if she was so concerned for the girl's feeling she wouldn't be spreading gossip about Tracey Herman. I know I wouldn't be. Knowing Al and Scorpius, the whole school would know about him less than an hour into the feast. They wouldn't be able to resist making Tracey look like an idiot in front of the entire school. Not that it mattered much anyway since he wouldn't be there. Still it wasn't right, poor Tracey didn't deserve it. Maybe I was right about Camilla Hayes. Maybe she is the world's biggest bitch afterall.

"That's horrible," I say, not even looking at her. I was too busy trying to hide the self satisfied smile that I knew would be appearing on my face. I really did love being right, especially when it came to people like Camilla. She thought she had everyone fooled but not me, I was too smart not to beat her at her own game. If she wanted to play the nice game, then I could too.

"So how was your summer, Camilla?" I wasn't interested, at all, but I figured why not? I didn't exactly need everyone knowing that I didn't like her. Especially since there is no particular reason and I don't want Scorpius to think I'm jealous or something. Because I'm not. At all. She starts talking and I kind of tune her out. I'm still listening but only for the sake of nodding my head and "oohing" and "aahing" at all the right times. I dimly notice her place her hand on Scorpius's knee but it's a minor irritation. My real attention is focused on my thoughts, flying around in my head like a swarm of angry bees.

Camilla really was self absorbed and a gossip too. I'd have to store that information in my head to use later. I also was processing the story about Tracey Herman, his girlfriend, and the drugs. It just didn't make sense to me. I knew Tracey pretty well. He was smart and a little bit pompous, never failing to get good grades and he always freaked out when it came to exams. The part about being desperate for good grades made sense but Tracey wasn't stupid. Did he really need extra time to study? Because usually I could find Tracey in the library when I needed a good study buddy and there was barely a moment he didn't spend studying. I am thinking it all through while I pretend to listen to Camilla. I nod and smile and laugh and then she shocks me back into full focus.

"It was all so wonderful but I missed my Scorpy so much I couldn't wait to get back to start this year!" She giggles and then leans up to kiss him and my stomach drops. I hope that Scorpius moves away, looks at her like she's some freak for thinking he would be interested in her. But he doesn't. He lets her lips push against his cheek which is a faint pink. He won't meet my eyes and I look at Al, my smile slipping slowly as I realize my cousin knew. Al knew that they were together and he didn't tell me. I can see it in the way his shoulders are slumped. The way he's looking anywhere but me, the way he's trying to disappear into the seat beneath him. Al kept it a secret from me. Lily on the other hand looks like a dear in headlights. She opens her mouth to say something but I interrupt her.

"Lily?" I can hear the panic in my own voice; feel my stomach start to churn violently. She looks at me concerned and I'm happy to have avoided a crisis. Whatever Lily had to say would not have been nice and I'm totally on her side, but I don't need Camilla Hayes to try and piece together whatever's happening. The happy little bubble inside me deflates. Last night was all a fluke, the idea that Malfoy and I were in this together no matter what has gone out the door. He's got his own problems to worry about. He's not going to be there for me or our kid. He's not going to admit that it's his kid that I'm carrying. That would mess up his perfect little world with his perfect little family and his perfect little girlfriend. Why would Scorpius ruin his life to support me? I can't even stand the sight of him most of the time.

An ugly monster rears in my head. How long were they together? When was he going to tell me? What is he going to tell Camilla when I start to show? Was he with her when we-? Am I the other girl? Did everyone know but me? And Al, his betrayal stings worse. He chose to keep Scorpius's relationship a secret rather than tell his own flesh and blood when it concerned her, when it would _hurt_ her to be kept from the truth. I close my eyes and my hands fling to my stomach.

"Rose? Rose!" Al's voice is worried but I shake my head afraid that if I open my eyes, if I take one look at anyone in this compartment but Lily, I'm going to puke.

"Lily, help me to the loo," I order stretching my arm out for her blindly. She takes my arm and helps me up. "I think I'm going to be sick." I let her know as she walks me out of the compartment. We're far down the corridor by the time I open my eyes safely. Lily is right next to me, her face alternating between concern for me and anger for me. We reach the bathroom and she's right there holding my hair back as I empty my stomach into the toilet. The image of Camilla Hayes kissing Scorpius Malfoy's cheek repeats over and over in my mind, a jumbled blur of color, sound, and sickness. I can't think of anything else. Once my stomach is empty I start to dry heave, my stomach refusing to relax. It's then that I notice that my eyes and cheeks are wet. How long have I been crying?

It doesn't matter. I spit one last time into the toilet and flush. Lily hands me a paper towel and I wipe off my mouth. Wordlessly she leads me over to the sink and turns it on. I wash out my mouth vigorously and then splash my face with water. Lily rubs my back soothingly and I smile at her. It seems like Lily and I have spent a lot of quality time in the loo these days.

"Thanks," I say, taking the tissue she hands me for my tears.

"No problem, love," she smiles and hugs me. There's a knock on the door. It is a sharp sound, hard knuckles against unyielding wood. I don't want to answer it but I know that I should. It's probably Al concerned for my well being. The thought makes me angry and I clamber to my feet to pull the door open. There's a second set of knocks and I yank the door open, ready to give Al all hell for keeping this complication from me. But it's not Al, it's Malfoy, concern tugging down at the corners of his lips, his annoyingly perfect blonde hair just barely grazing his right eyelashes. I couldn't give a damn if he's concerned or if he has perfect bloody hair.. I glare at him anyway.

"What do you want?" I try not to let it show just how upset I am at this new revelation as if I'm only being my usual haughty and irritated self. The girl who would be miffed about blowing chunk on a crowded train.

"Are you alright?" his voice is gentle, actually concerned and that just pisses me off. Here he is, acting like this is so normal, doing exactly what someone should in this situation. But that's the thing, this isn't normal, and it's not alright. Everything is so screwed up. If this was last year he'd be laughing his arse off at me, calling me insulting nicknames that allude to me puking, and making this as torturous a process as possible. And the funny thing is: I was okay with that! Sure, I'd yell and storm, insult him back, maybe even throw something at him (okay, in all likelihood throwing something would be the first thing that I'd do) but it was _normal_. Our fighting and bickering and extreme dislike of each other was our usual behavior, that's just the way things were, and everything back then seemed so peachy. But this… this pretending that we can stand each other, acting like we can be in a room with each other for more than five minutes without something being thrown feels so wrong and it was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down. You would think that I would have seen this, but no, I kept telling myself that we could at least get along but in truth one of us always ends up pissing the other off. And this charade is making me bonkers.

"Fine," I tell him curtly. I try to move past him and into the corridor but he blocks me. I glare up at him, my nose only barely up to his shoulder, and say, "what?"

"What's wrong?"

"You're in my way," I ground out, meeting his steady gaze. "Now if you'll move, I'd like to get back to my seat." Frustratingly enough, he doesn't back down and move out of my way. He just stands there, frowning, eyebrows almost touching as he looks down on me. I raise an eyebrow, using all of my self control not to just run him down and push him out of the way. I mean I don't get it. Why is he so confused? Did he really think I'd take the news that he has a girlfriend well? Especially in my current, very pregnant, condition? Was he really that stupid? Finally my resolve breaks before his does. I sigh in frustration and then push past him, our shoulders connecting hard. I'm probably going to have a bruise where our bones collided, but I'm pretty sure I'll get over it. Getting away from him is my main concern at the moment.

I turn, unable to resist seeing his reaction and his cheeks are slightly pink. He seems stunned. Finally, I've hit a nerve. Satisfied, I look to Lily behind him and raise an eyebrow.

"Are you coming?"

"Yep," she says and she sidesteps Malfoy, glaring at him for good measure as she passes him and then heads down the hallway ahead of me. As I go to leave, Malfoy grabs my arm before I can turn my back on him.

"What did I do wrong this time?" his grip is hard, another bruise that I'll have from this conversation. His lip is pulled up in disgust and he sounds exasperated, as if this is all my fault, as if he wasn't the complete arse, as if I like being so angry at him that I vomit. I yank my arm away from him and fight to keep my voice even despite my anger.

"It's what you didn't do, Malfoy," I tell him, as if that wasn't the most obvious thing in the world. How thick can he really be? How can he imagine that I wouldn't react like this? It doesn't matter anyway. I just shake my head and walk away, not looking back again and not caring if he caught my meaning, not caring if he knows how I really feel, not caring if he knows how much he hurt me. And boy does it hurt. I had thought that we were becoming friends, that maybe we weren't crazy, trying to get along, that we were in this together. But I was wrong. He wasn't being honest with me and about what I was going to be facing once I got back to Hogwarts. And that hurt. And that's my fault for ever even letting him close. I pretend I'm not crying as I catch up to Lily who is waiting a little further down the hall.

"Come one, Rosie, Let's get a different compartment," and that's what we do. We find an empty compartment and I spend the rest of train ride abusing Scorpius Malfoy in animated language, while Lily listens, speaking only when I've stopped ranting to catch my breath.

Hey guys, So I know it's been a super duper long time since I've updated this or anything of my stories. I'm sorry that I'm not a very frequent updater and that I've kept you waiting for so long. I just haven't had the spirit to write anything for a very long time and college and life has really gotten in the way of all my creative pursuits. I wish that this update will mean that I will start to write more often, but I'm honestly not sure and I can't make you any promises other than that this story will get finished eventually. (i know exactly where I want this to end and everything. it's just getting there that will take time.)

For the people that have read and/or reviewed, and Favorited/followed this story or me in general, I just want to thank you for your kind words and if it wasn't for that support I probably would have given this story, and fanfiction entirely, up. If you're reading this thanks for getting this far and I hope you'll be patient with me. I hope you review because they really mean the world to me, good or bad, and they keep my writers block at bay.

I 3 you guys!

-Bee


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